Spoils of War
by seinooo.kcvii
Summary: Um. ReTi. Oneshot. xD


An alternative of Two Gems. :D Yes, sorry for errors.

'MCQ? None of those above! Lawl.' Shit, I didn't know it'll be this long. Gomen ne! Event here was inspired by my brothers. And the one of teh retards stuck bubblegum on my hair. We (including me, sadly) all got chewed off in the end.

This is **Spoils of War**.

* * *

Reno and Tifa never averted their gaze from each other. Tifa was almost breathless out of tiredness while Reno was smugly standing with one hand shoved in his pocket. Vincent's words rang in their heads.

'_Those who started it should end it.'_

"Yo, we need to end this," he said, tossing his _ammo_ up and down. Tifa nodded wearily in acknowledgement

"Point taken."

They charged at each other and during the last moment, she swayed and plunged forward and he caught her. She staggered upward, clinging onto him, and failed. He had her in his arms.

"…Don't do this to me," she moaned, clutching her stomach. He grinned.

"Say it, babe. You know I'm waitin'." Tifa parted her lips and hesitated for a bit. He waited in anticipation, relishing the moment of having her alone, and her response.

"…Reno, I—" she sighed, shutting her eyes and what happened earlier replayed in her mind.

-- -- --

Tifa was having a sort of a lawn party for her bar's anniversary. She had invited those who could come and those who couldn't, well, their loss. She would pack some and give the remaining food to them but they would miss the games, though. She continued flipping the skewer in her hands.

"Teef, do you think they're gonna cook soon?" Cloud asked, obviously watching the food on heat with interest. He was chewing on a chicken wing. Tifa sighed.

"Soon, Cloud."

Yuffie bounded in, dragging Vincent by the arm to the tables.

"I smell fooood!" she sang. Reno emerged from the back door with a tray of sugar-laden treats.

"Oh, here I thought the brat only screech. Now I know she sings, too. _Horribly_."

"Say that to my face, Turkey boy!" she retorted. Reno shrugged and joined Tifa.

"Just did." Yuffie yelled and flailed within Vincent's grasp.

Marlene came running in, holding a big blue balloon in her hands. "Everyone, look! I blew a balloon!" she called excitedly and at the same time, Denzel entered, sulking. He had told Marlene not to use the blue one. Cloud was now on his second helping to the macaroni and cheese.

Yuffie force-fed Vincent…with a cupcake. Not that he hated Tifa's skills; it's the persistence from the female ninja that slightly annoyed him. Yuffie had practically crammed every single type of food on the table. The mixed flavors were sickening…and he never liked buffets. He would stick to one, that is, until he got bored.

Elena entered with Tseng, carrying two double magnums of champagne.

"Lockhart! We're here!" Elena happily set the two bottles down on one of the tables before starting to marvel at the spread. Cloud snatched a bottle of champagne and went away.

Yuffie began filling herself with dessert. Vincent had sat down next to Cloud, refusing to look at the food for a while. Marlene swirled around her balloon and Denzel glared at it, full of vehemence, currently thinking why it wasn't him who blew the balloon.

"Y'know, this ain't half bad," Reno said and poked at charcoal before wrapping his arm around Tifa.

"Mm?"

"This little get-together. But…"

"Reno." His face lifted.

"Yeah?"

"More coal, please."

"Comin' right up."

-- -- --

No, no, no. That was before it happened. Everything was nice and fine. Tifa softened her glare at his grinning face and recalled what really happened…

-- -- --

Reno squatted next to Denzel, who was sighing every now and then.

"'Sup, Denzel?"

"Nothing much. Marlene took the last blue one."

"Ohh. I see. So you want to take it back?" Denzel shrugged.

"Not really. I want to give it to her but she got it and blew it for herself." Reno picked an apple.

"Tseng, can I borrow your gun?" Tseng raised an eyebrow in confusion before handing him the gun. "Watch," he told Denzel.

Reno tossed the apple at Elena, saying, "Yo, 'Len! Think fast!"

Elena, as quick as she could as a Turk, automatically raised her hands to catch it but before it even reached her, a trigger was pulled.

Bang!

The apple exploded halfway to her direction, leaving her dumbfounded and blinking. Reno laughed at her but then her expression turned furious.

"I never miss," Reno complimented proudly.

"Reeenooo," Elena growled and made her way to him.

"Crap. At times like this, Denzel, you know what to do?" Denzel shook his head. "You do this to ease her."

**a)** Run.

**b)** Blame someone nearest—Denzel? Like she'd buy that. He was still holding Tseng's gun.

**c)** Act dead.

**d)** Continue laughing at her until Tifa comes out from the kitchen with a frying pan with Marlene's sunny side up.

Elena was nearer now and he didn't have time to think of any more option.

"Alright, alright! I'm sorry I did that. Here, you can shoot an apple too. I'll even put it on my head." He did exactly that, and stood still.

"I have a bad aim, Reno," she sneered. Reno gulped. Maaaybe this wasn't such a good idea, he thought.

**a)** Dodge whatever it was for her payback.

**b)** Wait for Tifa to come out…and bash his head.

**c)** Evade the fry pan and show off how cool he could be with a camouflaged apple on his head.

**d)** Let Tseng calm her down. But he was ignoring them, talking with Cloud and Vincent.

Elena flicked a scrunched paper ball at his forehead with all the force she could use. Reno jerked and the apple fell.

"Whoa! Damn it, yo!" It was Elena's turn to laugh.

"You got punked, _yo_."

Enraged, Reno looked around for something. The door opened slowly behind Elena, who was still laughing.

**a)** An apple a time would get you a bruise on the eye.

**b)** …Too bad that pepper's not a tomato.

**c)** The cake was still far away.

**d)** Scanning area, zooming in. The cake. It's a must. But something else can compensate for it.

Reno took a quiche and whirled it to Elena. She dodged it, of course and it landed neatly onto Tifa's face.

"Reno, where's the—" Thwap! That left Elena laughing harder, crying, too. Reno's eyes widened. This was not what he was expecting. Tifa was indeed holding a frying pan on one hand and an egg at the other…and was fuming at him. The egg flew to his direction and his quick reflexes kicked in. He scurried behind Elena and the egg hit her instead. The fry pan was forgotten, clanging on the floor.

"Eww! What was that for, Lockhart?"

"Reno, who else?" They glared at each other. Elena, who was quicker, grabbed a mousse. It landed onto Tifa's head and she shrieked.

"I heard you're quite a turn-on with chocolate, Lockhart."

"Why are you aiming at me for? Reno started this, didn't he?" Tifa reasoned, frustrated. The two turned to him. One was egged, another was splattered with pastries and both had the same thing on their minds. _Reno, you're screwed. _Reno, who was watching them in amusement, was now horrified. They had made a truce.

On the other end, Yuffie was still wolfing the desserts. Vincent, Cloud and Tseng were enjoying the champagne. Denzel suddenly ran to Cloud, tugging his arm.

"Cloud, Tifa's mad!" Cloud sipped his champagne and saw Tifa, lifting a fry pan and dusting it off.

"Huh?"

A blurry red and black zipped past them, followed by the fry pan. Kthunk! It hit the redhead on the head and he fell in awkward way, not getting up and that elicited an 'oops' from Tifa. She ran to his side, turning him over on her lap.

"Oh, Shiva. Reno, are you okay? I didn't mean to—" Grinning, Reno swiped a dripping chocolate sauce on her face and began licking his finger.

"Should've seen your face. And taste." A switch inside the young barmaid flipped. She dropped his head and stood rather abruptly. "Ouch."

"Be sorry, _Reno_," she hissed.

"Oh, am I now?" he challenged. "I want you to say 'sorry', Teef." Tifa frowned at him. What was she supposed to be sorry for?

"What?"

Vincent shook his head disapprovingly. He wasn't in the mood to babysit anyone save for Denzel and Marlene. And Yuffie. Tseng pulled Elena to his side and ushered her inside. Cloud had let Denzel in, and both the children were now watching from the window.

"Tifa, Reno," he addressed them. "Those who started it should end it."

Tifa nodded. She was not pleased with the way he was acting. Technically speaking, he was the source of this all, as she had observed from inside. She would make him grovel if she had to.

Let the war begin. Tifa was seething and Reno still had his playful mood on. Upon seeing Tifa grab the edges of a table, Reno knew things were not going good. _A whole table?_

**a)** Duck at—oh, the tablecloth she was holding. Now why would she do that? So… No ducking?

**b)** Run and make a fortress out of a table.

**c)** Hide behind Cloud. She had a soft spot for him—only this time Cloud was nowhere to be seen. Or the others. _Graah! No human shield!_

**d)** Die. Though he loved all of Tifa's expressions, _Looks can kill_, he thought. He was seeing one now.

"Eat this, Reno!" Tifa tugged the tablecloth and kicked the falling tray of cookies. He grinned.

"Gladly." Reno caught and munched most of them, dodging the tray. He was having fun for he was mostly doing the dodging. Everything he threw at her hit her in a considerable amount. Desserts with chocolate, particularly. She was a feast for sore eyes. A turn-on. That he would have to agree.

"Cloud I want my sunny side up," Marlene pleaded for the nth time, tugging his sleeve.

"… I know," he replied, also for who knows how much.

"Make me one." Cloud winced. The fry pan's outside and if he were to go out, it would be like walking straight into a field of landmines. Yuffie laughed at Tifa's bad aims. Elena was enjoying the occasional hits Tifa made on Reno. Vincent and Tseng were commenting at how wrong their postures were and Denzel had just found new indirect teachers out of them.

"…mkay."

"There's a pot if you want to use it," Vincent told him. He had been listening to Cloud and Marlene.

_Pot_. "A pot," Cloud repeated. _Certainly boiled eggs, but can you even make sunny side ups in a pot?_ He decided he would look for another frying pan even if it kills him.

The fight went on for a long time and food was running out. What no one knew was how tired Tifa Lockhart was—at least that's what she thought. She was hungry and had no breakfast that day. She sighed and collected herself, readying for the final blow. Or anything that could ruin her hair any more than it already was.

-- -- --

"…s…" she mumbled. Reno's eyes shone. Was she going to apologize?

"Come again?"

"…I'm _starved_, dammit," she hissed. He chuckled and kissed her forehead.

"Then you'll have to let me feed you." She sighed in defeat.

"…I have no choice, do I? This war, the spoils are yours."

A soon as they were back inside, their guests went out, politely offering to clean the whole compound while the two were left alone. Reno was having fun, mostly, because he had fed her, teased her, and gotten a slap even—for pulling the spoon away from her mouth and making her bite nothing.

"Reno. Why did you want me to apologize earlier?" He shrugged.

"You were kinda indifferent when I was about to ask for some time alone so I just had to gain your attention one way or another." She frowned dejectedly. A tantrum. She should've known that coming.

"So that's what the food fight was all about?"

"More and less. I'd love to see the whole of you covered in chocolate sauce, babe." That gained him a pinch at his side.

"If you behave, you will."

_Oh yeah._ For that he would gladly wait—but patience wasn't one of his fortes.

**a)** Obey and wait.

**b)** …No way. She had _sorta_ agreed to it.

**c)** She would fall into submission. He always had his ways.

**d)** Pursue her.

He grinned, following her upstairs to the shower.


End file.
